Robots, Bodysnatchers & Zombies; Retail Has Become One Cheesy Horror Flick

It is no secret, and truly is no joke, the retail trade is going through an unnerving evolution.  Slowly the jobs that were once so easily obtainable, and full of limitless opportunity for any average Joe (I’m living proof) may become more and more obscure. The thoughts of it are bone chilling, and I feel as if there is a shadow lurking behind a curtain just on the verge of striking.

1. Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I look around any mall USA and find myself filled with whimsical delight when I discover the space to capture a clear shot of some unique angular infinity fountain.  That is until I’m done and realize somehow I’m the only body in this hall.  Where did everyone go?  Where are all the patrons?  I knew it, I knew I’d be left behind when the rapture came.  I look back at the fountain, make sure the water hasn’t turned to blood or anything.

Or, wait, what if they were abducted?!  What if it all depends on this Shop Girl to save the human race?!  This is my moment…hold the phone, is that a person in that store? I don’t know…they make no movements and show no emotion…they’re just staring into their palms, their name tag sagging with their shoulders so that I can’t make it out.

Untitled design.png2. Robots Are Taking Over The World

Has something possessed them?  Have they perhaps been replaced by dummies?  Is this part of some master plan of the greatest of evil plans?!  This body appears to be human but shows no reaction when I come near.  Even as I approach they seem unfazed by my presence.   I’m starting to grow a disturbing concern for the lifespan of my brains as I definitely begin to cringe as I picture the grueling scenes of Dawn of the Dead.  I decide to brave it and approach a boutique; careful now, just walk in, step by step until I…

Oh wait, that one just looked up, perhaps they can help, “Excuse me, can I…”

“Uhm, over there.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

“Oh, Then we don’t have it.”

It’s no wonder that science has been able to out “human” the “human” interaction, and employers now have no real excuse to stop from slowly replacing their associates with robots as funds prove available.

After all a robot doesn’t require insurance, doesn’t demand a higher wage, and will never feel too preoccupied to place their customers’ first.  They’re taking over!

Lowes has reorganized in order to cut out 2,000 jobs, conveniently timed two years after their original launch of robot employees in California….I’m not saying that’s connected or anything…just some random observations I slurred into a single sentence.  But, if you want to read into it some subliminal unintended message, that is all you…

3. The Living Dead; I’m Surrounded!

There are some retailers we keep writing off as dead but they just refuse to die.   Their very presence unnerves me, as they are reminder of the aging decay of my career.  The continuance of change and a step closers to a more dystopian society.

K-Mart, how?!  Their aisles bleak and dead, and I wonder how?  What blood oath with the devil has been made, what strange ritualistic sacrifice of brains did they commit in order to keep striding along.  Only 78 more closing…when the reporters say that, they say it with a looming gloom, I instead am overwhelmed with goosebumps, the power of darkness is still upon them. Like Cher they just continue to forever be frozen in time.

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References:

Video Credit is an IBM commercial from 2006 introducing their innovations to push retail to be more technologically advanced.

7 thoughts on “Robots, Bodysnatchers & Zombies; Retail Has Become One Cheesy Horror Flick

  1. bensbitterblog says:

    The more Amazon and others take over the digital shopping mall, the more there are going to be Zombie malls and that sucks cause in the 80’s when they had malls, life was so much more interesting. I used to go to malls just to see if my crush was there. Now, my kids just go on Instagram to see if they posted.

    Liked by 1 person

      • bensbitterblog says:

        It’s been that way for a little while. I remember going to San Antonio and seeing that there were at least 6 different malls all around town and only 1 was really a thriving one. I feel for mall owners these days cause they are starting to become ghost towns and it kind of makes me sad.

        Liked by 1 person

      • shopgirlanonymous says:

        Ya, San Antonio is more about local shopping, its a tourist destination and even the tourist mall, last a I saw, was failing. 😦 North Star though is the spot to be apparently, I’ve never actually malled in San Antonio, I’m always wasting all my time lounging and exploring around the riverwalk. 🙂

        Like

      • bensbitterblog says:

        So the Riverwalk mall is failing? That’s sad. I remember last time I was there it was doing well, but that was a while ago. I hear the North Side of San Antonio is the rich part (where all the Spurs players live), so I’m guessing a North Star would make sense.

        Liked by 1 person

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